April 2004 Goose Droppings

Portland trip People who commit verbally to a road trip when a bus is being considered (e.g. Campbell River, Powell River, Kelowna and Portland) will in the future have to commit financially as well on the Wednesday night before the trip, that is to say you must pay for your trip ahead of time. This money will be non-refundable and shopping for furniture will not constitute a legitimate excuse. The Tribe has spoken.

PNW Over-40 Tournament Steve says Osaka, Fuwaku, Old South-West, Peelers, Ancient Aztecs, Dribs&Drabs from Edmonton, Portland as well as the usual gang of suspects will be there. Tara Mang, massage therapist, will be in attendance to minister to the achy-breaky amongst us. John Adams is organising the tent raisers. Jamie London will be attempting to fill the boots of Dave "Goose" Frid by keeping the multitudes beered. Cooking Crew will do same with loaves and fishes...and burgers.

Pacific Old Growth Latest info. Maritime Tour...Tour Party will consist of Semiahmoo Old Boys and Twilighters. Dates...August 6 to 15, 2004. Destinations...Ottawa, Ont., St. John's, Nfld and Halifax, NS (Be careful when you're back there that you don't trip over bundles of taxpayer's $20s in the gutters or piles of unmelted snow and twist your ankles.) Cost...$1800. Includes...Airfare, Accomodation, Ground Transportation, Tour Jersey, Tour kit bag, Tour program, Team photo, No.1 Tour blazer. Commitment Date...April 15, 2004

Goose Story Heard at the Wake for Dave "Goose" Frid. Towards the shank end of a Loma function at the Connaught Clubhouse, Dave started his cleanup/lockdown of the facilities when he looks out into the field and sees some shadows moving in the moonlight. Dave makes his way out onto the field and it slowly becomes apparent that it's 2 "guys" making out on a chair from the clubhouse. Goose storms over to them and says, "Gimme that chair!", throwing the lovers onto the ground and stomps back into the clubhouse with his chair.

Best Masters Rugby Team in The World? Peter Harcourt reports from Edmonton that Rugby Union is to be played at the World Masters Games in 2005 (July 22-31). No word yet on the age grouping breakdown (Apparently there are 4 age groups, Doug. – ed.) but the Winnipeg Wasps are fully registered. Ellerslie Rugby Park is to be the locale. No poncie Golden Oldies style rugby either. Two monster Rugby socials on tap: the Melbourne Masters "Try and Score" and perennial Edmonton Rugby Fest favourite, the "Banger in the Hanger". Ask your local Ex-Brit player about this last function, they made lots of these Rugby Fest trips in their misspent youth. Check out
www.edmontonrugby.com and www.2005worldmasters.com for more info.

March 14 Evergreens

Another in a line of pretty good rugby games between Twits and E'greens or it would have been if Callahan hadn't reverted to the Seido Goatzochuff School of Refereeing. (And he's been so good recently says Roger)

Example: He penalizes Murk for playing the ball on the ground even though Murk's on his feet because his "breasts" were touching someone lying in the ruck! What's the deal with that? That's kinky. Barry's got nothing better to do than to run around looking at Murk's "breasts"? Even the Evergreens were starting to giggle behind their hands. Three Twilighter mistakes led to three E'green tries but by the end of the game the Twits were starting to put the Greenmen's feet to the fire when Murk and Mumoi scored a couple of tries. Unfortunately we were unable to get the equalizer. Pres. Bob's bro, Don put a try-saving tackle on Murk during the proceedings. Final 3-2 Advantage Evergreens.

Post Game Some pretty fair tucker laid on after the game especially the Barbeque on a bun. Was that Doug and Sandy behind the bar? I thought I was in a warp in the space-time continuum. Pres. Bob had his little bit of fun when he named John Bradley and Dick Woldring for Honourable Mention for us AND the Evergreens. Hard running Mick Stewart was Bob's pick for Shooting Star or was it that old age pensioner, Bill Claridge. Baby Brad the 38 year old standoff has been unilaterally accorded dispensation to play Over 40 (By the E'greens) because he's "the leader". Foggy did we have to do that when Pee Wee took the league by storm? Mick volunteered that he'd like to play back row with Murk (Mick apparently lives within sight of Burnaby Lake) and I got to thinking (never desirable in a prop), Wow those two and Jenner, Laberge, Scotty, Doc, Panton, Turk, Davidson, Adams, Ritchie to pick from for back row; I started salivating like Pavlov's dog.

March 21 Valley Vintage & March 28 Golf

The Blue Horde was out. 39 or 40 guys. Where were they when we went to Portland? Coach Cook had to use the new math to get everybody into the game.Team photo day. Oh that explains it. Check the website. Vintage scored the first try and the last try and in between Danny Woods, Pee Wee and Mark Grist put the meat in this sandwich with a try apiece. Speaking of Mark his brother Bruce says all his rugby acumen is due to that which he learned at Bruce's knee and I guess it must be so because Bruce is a lawyer and they always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, don't they? A good hard game with remarkably little squabbling.

Post Game Frivolities Gordon Eddy, an original Twilighter, turned 70 recently and so was gifted and asked to say a few words which he did. Tres amusante, Gordon. Honorable Mentions on their play-for the Twits-Danny Wood, Chuck Jung (Why don't you kids go out and play in the traffic. C'mon I'll show you how I do it.) and Dave Laberge. For the Vintage- Randy Hostler. Bob's Shooting Stars were Mark Grist and Jim Booth; both put on a dazzling display of rugby skills. On the other hand Coach Cook dished off his Georgies (most help to the opposite team) One to Dave Milne for getting bit by his own dog. (I don't know what that has to do with helping the opposition but there you are.) and one to Gary Fullerton for something or other. Gary had a story about Gordon Eddy going to see his doctor for his yearly check-up and telling him that he was still playing (at) rugby. "That's great" said the doc, "but my goodness! Look at you. You're either a very fit fat man or a very fat fit man!" Then we had a few more beer. Danny Wood says somebody found his BLRC rugby shorts and a pair of compression shorts before he lost them, so if you've got extra stuff in your bag that's where they belong.

Golf It was a beautiful day in the neighbourhood. Burnaby Mountain actually. 20o C. no wind (except for Malcolm) I love this job. I just throw the book down in front of someone when the muse strikes them and away they go, Bruce a couple of paragraphs back and now Nick and I daresay someone will feel the urge in the near future.

Anyway to the awards...
Nearest to the pin: Pee Wee
Longest Drive: Don Jenner
3rd Tie: Bob Panton/Nick Oliver
2nd: Steve Bal
1st: Gerry Taylor with his 20 handicap (Ah great, the green jacket goes well with my green tongue)

April 4 SOBs

Malcolm couldn't make the game. His mother-in-law was having a birthday and if he didn't make it, well, he was afraid of finding a horse's head in his bed the next morning. Unfortunately he missed a good one. It was a beautiful day on the peninsula; sunny and breezy.

The SOB's presented with a young, large pack and young, fast 3-line and maybe 2 pairs of black shorts but the Blu-Cru was undaunted. Hard running and good rucking worked the ball down to the Old Boys' 3 meter line. Turk got himself caught up in the ruck so the Doc scrubbed up and transplanted the ball to Tyler who took it to the house.

The game settled down to a monster defensive struggle until an enterprising Old Boy center intercepted a pass and worked it in for a score.

I was starting to fret about the dearth of candidates for the Lady Byng this coming President's Night. I shouldn't have worried. I was coming in (late) to a ruck behind Foggy when his back jumped at me and smacked me in the face. A lot of F-words mumbled through mouthguards were heard but I couldn't see what was happening. Every time I went to move around the front of the ruckus, the Fog would move to keep me behind him. All I could see was a rapid motion of blue shoulders, equally rapid thumping, more bad words and a pair of red boots jiggling in rhythm with the thumping. The lads got chucked for the rest of the half and for Fog it was the game because the Twits now have lots of young props champing at the bit to get into the game. Exxcelent!

In the second half, the SOBs are moving a maul down the field when Jamie London pops out of the back of the maul with ball in hand and gets a nice pass away to our three line. Newbie, Bob Rumley acquitted himself well on the wing for his first game of rugby by picking the right guy to tackle on an overlap. Course he got some help from Pee Wee before the game, who discreetly urged him to jettison the cup he was preparing to wear.

Later, Twits working a rolling maul up the sideline first one way, then the other, lots of grunting, jiggling meat. It looks like, it looks like something's going to happen, then the ball drops out of the maul to the ground at Sandy MacDonald's feet and slowly trickles into touch. More F-words.

Bruce Grist kicks forwards from our end and Nick pins his ears back and goes thundering down field and almost gets to the guy fielding the ball. Ooh scarey!

Mark Grigg relates that the SOB pack weren't having any fun dealing with him, Jamie, Tim, Nick, Kevin and the rest of the back row. Made for a long afternoon.

Later on in the half, Frodo Baggins (Ian Trevor) streaked in for the final try. Another little guy putting pressure on the Old Boys was Steve Wiles. Any time a kick went long Steve was a silver streak down to get up the other guy's nose. Many Twits had very good games on the day including try-saving tacklers, Garry, Bruce, Mark, Tyler, Murk and Brian Carano. If I missed anyone come and whisper in my ear. Ref. Claude Patterson called an excellent game.

Post Game Good spread Beef Stroganoff on a bun and salads. Oh yeah, and beer. Murk got Semi's Man of the Match and their MoM was Randy Marquardt. Pres. Bob selected Frodo, Kevin, Nick and Murk For Honorable Mention with Garry Henry as Shooting Star. Well done, all. For the SOBs Bob tapped Bunny Bonett (scrum half) and Ken Scott for Honorable Mention, the Shooting Star going to Ron Van Vliet that fleet streak of shit, 2nd-rower. Memorize him girls, I think we're going to see him again. The Maritime Tour still needs a few good men and all who are going should be working on their song repertoire a la the Canadian Idles.

And Finally...

Golf again Nick Oliver is organizing a round of golf in Nanaimo on Saturday, April 17, prior to the RUGBY game on Sunday, the 18th and wants to know who's interested. Get in touch with Nick on Wednesday night, after "practice" or at 604.522.0018

Other Stuff Nick and George would like to remind people that t-shirts and golf shirts and other fabric items can be individualized with the Twilighter Logo without a minimum number having to be contracted for. See George or Nick on Wed. night.

Other Other Stuff Tournament at the end of the month. Your assistance may be requested from time to time.

President's Night May 29, a Saturday.****ATTENTION PRES. NITE WILL BE ON MAY 15 NOT THE 29TH**** Who's gonna get what? Zork, Zero, Lady Byng, one-off Special Awards. Get in touch with your executive with your ideas on who ya wanna slag. Time's slipping away so do it quick.

Darwin Awards Ian Gray forwards the following.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.