December 2004 Goose Droppings

Practice Nov. 3 After practice, on the way in for a shower, Bruce Grist went down in the parking lot. Malcolm Solway, Gerry Taylor and Wade Sandberg made a preliminary assessment, got him warm and called the Emergency Response Team. Bruce was taken first to Burnaby General where he was diagnosed with a stroke and then subsequently transported to Royal Columbian Hospital. After the Ebbtide game on Sunday, Katie Grist gave us an update in which she stated, “it was not a small stroke” It seems that it was a “dissection” stroke where a cranial artery tore and leaked into the back of the brain in an area that affects balance. An MRI done showed evidence of old head injuries possibly caused by rugby but there was no evidence that Bruce suffered a recent injury that might have caused this attack. We will keep you posted with further news as it becomes available and I know all Twilighters and friends will be keeping Bruce, Laura, Brendan, Megan and the extended Grist family in their prayers for a speedy and complete recovery.)

Ladies Appreciation Night Despite the pall cast on the proceedings by the news of Bruce’s attack Ladies Appreciation Night went forward. And what a night it was. Well over a hundred people in attendance. We apologize to those we had to turn away but the Fire Marshall would have been down our necks and plus we didn’t have any more plates or cutlery. What a Spread! Mark Grigg, new prop and Executive Chef from the Sheraton Wall Center and Jamie London Catering Manager from the North Shore Winter club and semi-new prop put together a menu fit for Betty Windsor and our ladies. I’d print it out but I just start drooling all over the keyboard like Homer Simpson. Oh just a little bit then. Papaya almond salad with a raspberry vinaigrette and a salmon filet with a pecan crust and a tarragon cream sauce. Prawns too. (Doug, are you sure this was a Rugby dinner?…Sounds like something the Governor –General, Adrienne Clarkson would throw) Flossy white tablecloths, silver settings and tables decorated courtesy of Stephanie and Bob and flowers by Ken and Reiko set the scene. “Truck”, Jamie and an assistant muscled an insulated cart containing the entrees upstairs. I mentioned that I had suggested, when I was still hauling rented plates and cutlery upstairs for these functions that the BLRC should install a “dumb waiter” in the clubhouse and was told, “Doug, we don’t need a dumb waiter, we got you!” Turk had a good idea; “Why doesn’t the Club apply for a grant to make the Clubhouse wheelchair accessible?” Why not indeed? That Turk, not just another pretty face! After all they’ve got many handicapped parking spots. Anyhow Mark and Jamie commandeered the bar and assembled the salads, entrees and desserts on tables and then the executive with the able assistance of Simon Smolden and Pat Riordan started running the grub into the Mohawk Room. Every course was in place within 2 minutes but I did have to apologize to Chuck Jung when I said it resembled a Chinese fire drill…nothing was dropped though. After dinner a few speeches were made and Tina Henry, Bonnie Barton, Karin Bruce and Mairi Narod were singled out for special recognition of their contributions. George Cook made a wonderful effort to remain sober and delivered a brilliant speech chronicling Dr. Phil’s (…ours, not Oprah’s) contributions to the Twilighters and presented him with a lifetime membership in the Club and a carved slate plaque. Ollie Barney was to have received the same honour but he was off to Calgary to support one of his kids or grandkids at a soccer tournament. After his speech George tried valiantly to catch up on his refreshments but was left in the dust by a large contingent who flocked to the bar’s dance floor and carried on late into the evening and early into the morning. Even though it was Ladies Appreciation Night, someone, who shall remain incognito, managed to drop his wife on the dance floor…some say more than once. Many other stories will go unreported because they cannot be independently confirmed…This isn’t the New York Times, you know.

Games

Ebbtide Nov. 7 As a result of the previous night’s mischief the following day’s game on the Blue side was populated by a flock of bleary-eyed, unshaven, foul smelling sub-human scum. The Ebbtide pack allowed as how in the sets the stench of stale Scotch had an almost emetic effect on these poor delicate choir-boys or maybe it was just the breakfasts on the ferry. The ‘Tide scored their first try fairly early on and then Billy MacRae scored on a feed from Garry Henry. Just before the game started Garry had done a passable impression of George Cook in Portland with one sock on his foot and the other one in his hand and ranted loudly about the iniquity of his fellow players and their craven need to steal his socks. The ranting died away after the hangover headache started to kick in and he discovered he had both socks. Ebbtide scored another try and then late in the game, Frodo saved the Twit’s bacon…again with another try. I see a pattern emerging here. Final 2 all.

Post Game Ian Trevor got picked the Twits’ Man of the Match for his heroics out of a crew of pretty good runners-up including Tyler, Garry and Hulk. Another member we’ve been remiss in mentioning played another sterling game at scrum-half, Rod Turkington put in another 60 minutes feeding the 3-line, bull-dogging rampaging scrummers and generally directing traffic in our favour and what’s the thanks he gets? Coach Cook’s Screw-up of the Game. I don’t know why but it’s funny how that works. Victoria’s Man of the Match, Brian, the elderly break, did have a great game, making lots of tackles in the heavy going dropping Nick in the process. Brian, who’s apparently the same age as Ollie, blew off a grandson’s 1st birthday to come over and play rugby… Finally got his priorities straight… That’s what I like to see.

“Practice” Nov. 10 Quiet night with the Phoenix crowd gone. Chuck Jung reports that he lost his black trench coat at Ladies Night, his shoulder pads at the Ebbtide game, his way in Portland in ’03 but of all the things he’s lost, he says, “I miss my mind the most.”

Christmas Get together Twits of Christmas’ Past come to visit with Twits of Christmas’ Present much to the consternation of Ebenezer Scrooge. After practice on the 15th of December. Chinese food. Commit with Pee Wee by Dec. 8. John Barton to organize the Golden Oldies. $10 tariff
Christmas Pantomime Friday, December 17, at the Deep Cove Theater. The Wicked Witch will be presented. Nick Oliver is in charge of ticket sales. $12-adults.

$10-kids and OAPs (Barton, Taylor, Narod and Barney, O., are you listening?) For those of you who can’t make it on Wednesday night, Nick’s phone number is 604.522.0018, to reserve. You’d best be quick about it as these tickets go very, very fast.

Rememberance

Jeremy Jenner We are a very lucky little group. In the main we like each other. We can party hearty when the occasion presents itself and we get to indulge ourselves in our silly little game of rugby. Sure we’ve lost several of our original members over the years and I know that that’s to be expected but in the past month the world has intruded malevolently into our safe little community.

As per the first story in this newsletter, Bruce Grist suffered a stroke after practice on the 3rd of November and as of this point in time (Dec. 1) we have a guardedly optimistic estimation of his condition, that is he did not lose consciousness, does not seem to have any neurological deficit and he can return to work on a graduated basis. Oh yeah, he can also drink, “in moderation”, whatever that means.

Sadly November got worse. Late in the evening of November 21, Don Jenner’s son, Jeremy was killed in a motor vehicle accident after leaving his mother Margaret’s house in Pitt Meadows. Jay was 24 years old and many of us remember Don bringing him out for the Wednesday night ritual of “buggers” during the summer. A kid with a big smile and his dad’s happy-go-lucky attitude is what many will remember.

A memorial service was held in Maple Ridge on November 29 and it looked to me that there was about 800 family, friends from school and members of the sports community, including many from rugby in attendance to tender their sympathy, respect, support and love for Jeremy and his family. I know several of the Twilighters have been touched personally by the loss at a far too early age of sons and grandsons but the rest of us can only vaguely guess at the pain and devastation Don and his family must be going through. Maybe right now might be a good time to go and hug the kids.

More games...

Nanaimo November 28 A lean, mean rugby machine went over to Nanaimo, well some of us were lean and some were rather well-marbled. 16 Twits and Gerry Taylor ended up on the May Bennett Pioneer Park pitch after being chauffered up from the ferry by the ever accommodating Yoos-to-Bees. Kevin Valancius, Jamie London, me, Bob Panton, Nick Oliver, “Coach” George Cook, Turk at break, Murk, “Gomez”, Garth, Garry, Gord and Wade all got 60 Minutes and not the TV show with Andy Rooney either. Olly Barney and Dave Sandles split the hour for 30 apiece. Another ferocious Nanaimo game with no quarter given in the sets or the second phase. The scoring was opened when the treacherous Billy Walker picked off an errant pass and…he…went…all…the…way. The game then settled down with both sides probing, looking for openings in the other squad’s defense and finding very few. I must confess that I had my doubts that we would be able to stay with the Bees for 60 minutes (Oh ye of little faith) but almost every time I looked over Twits were tackling and rucking the bejesus out of them. Garth Fraser had scored 1 and Garry Henry had 2 to tie the game at 3 with about 10 minutes to go when the ball got to Wade Sandberg and he took off down the sidelines with his deceptively long strides to finally put the ball down between the posts. With 10 minutes to go the game really heated up with their ref stretching the minutes into dog years to get the equalizer. By this time in the proceedings almost everybody had skin scraped off noses, foreheads, knuckles, elbows and knees as the ball went from sideline to sideline and from 15 meters out to the tryline. Tyler earlier in the game had taken a shot in the cakehole and had the red corpsuckles all over his moustache, all down his jersey and all over his shorts. Nick and Ross Anducci collided while both were diving for a loose ball at a ruck…ouch, hard on the neck Finally a clearing kick caused the whistle to finish this epic battle. 4-3 Twits!

Some observations…That Turk; so keen to make a good impression at break now that Gomez has agreed to go to scrum half. He got pushing me so hard to help me deal with Kim in the sets that he slipped and skidded into the tunnel. What a surprise! And then there was Kevin fielding a bouncing ball at the center line, charging forward about 20 meters, breaking a couple of tackles before going to ground and getting the ball back cleanly. Kevin was a bit pooped so he staid on one knee and tried sucking up some wind. He was just getting back to his feet when some sadist kicked the ball to him again for him to do it all over again. Tyler had a great game at fullback; no head slapping doofus mistakes but I made one. I got a pass out of a ruck and instead of passing I tried my luck going straight up …into the arms of the 6’2” hell-for-strong 40 year old break. Stripped the ball off me like grandmaw shuckin’ peas. Nick was a force and so was 62(3?) year old Captain Cook and everybody just played their little asses off.

Postgame Second row Tommy’s great roast beef and spuds and the nut-brown ale got things off to a noisy start and then Don Dunbar called for a minute’s silence in Jay Jenner’s memory and you could have heard a pin drop. Later Nanaimo’s largeish center was wandering around with what looked like a betting sheet and checking the TV’s just as some wrestling footage was being shown. So Gerry Taylor, the wag, asks loudly, “Are you betting on Wrestling?” much to the amusement of everyone within earshot. Nick Oliver got the Bees’ Man of the Match designation but it is suspected he was doing some politicking to achieve this accolade. Foggy did not make this trip and since then it has come to my attention that he has come up with the excuse, “Mai-Lis took me shopping on Saturday in Bellingham and my feet are really sore.”…Oh brother! The adrenalin/alcohol fueled celebrating continued on the ferry, well monitored by B.C. Ferry personnel up on the sun deck. It was a famous victory. Several tourists carried on at Trollers after the boat docked and then there were two little Indians left. Jamie and Gomez bought a pull-tab, won a $100 and went to the Keg for dinner and then Randy had the sand to phone Lori to come and pick them up. Oops I hope she doesn’t read about it.

Sno-Caps December 5 It’s been almost a couple of years since we’ve played North Shore and a whole bunch of new faces have appeared but no props. So we played no-contest scrums which was OK with the pack after the previous week’s grinder against Nanaimo. It was probably OK with the Sno-Caps too when I took a look in the second half at a front row of Kevin, Jamie and the Truck…ooh scary. Caps had some good, hard running young backs and back rowers but looked like they were committing too many people to the loose so if they didn’t win the ball the cover was a little skimpy and even if they did win the ball, Chico had a real long throw to make. At any rate Pee Wee started things rolling with the 1st try. Gord scored but a guy was catching up to him. I thought he was just setting him up to break his heart by popping it into overdrive at the 20 but Gord says, “No, I just ran out of gas.” Too much sex or too much booze the night before? We’ll never know. Garry Henry admits to 1 try but the films are still being reviewed. Murk seems to be getting back into the swing of things after he bunged a knee about 4 games ago. He notched 2. Frodo didn’t have to bail us to a tie today but he scored anyway and Ted Jung wrapped it up with 1. Final 7 maybe 8 to zip.

After a shaky start Duncan Koellmel, at standoff, started to scamper around and down the line with the ball very reminiscent of Russ Henschel, famous B.C. standoff and Twit. Dunc popped Mumoi, Wade and Leigh Shelley loose for a few long runs. Newly slimmed down Roger Ruddy was running wild and did I mention that Pee Wee made a tackle? Actually got his shorts dirty, I know, I know, hard to believe. I was coming up to a ruck, in the first half late as usual, when what should I see but the Sno-Caps’ Karl the Kraut reefing Foggy’s shorts down around his knees. I don’t know if Karl had an ulterior motive or whether he just thought it was a good idea at the time. Garry Henry ran out of ideas when confronted by Chico in the open field. Should I go open or should I go blind? Maybe I’ll just crash. Chico ended up on his prat. Thanks must go to Mike Suddaby for reffing the game.

Post Game Burgers and selection of salads courtesy of George and Fog and the runners and liquid refreshment courtesy Doug and Brady. Many thanks go to the clean-up crew and the Bottle of Scotch Marketing Group. I don’t know what goes on in George’s head when it comes to selecting the Screw-Up Award maybe I better pay a little closer attention. Gomez got it and I don’t know why. It was very good to see Don and Laurie out.

A Word from Turk re: Edmonton Masters Games. He says those guys turning 49 in 2005 will be able to play in the 50/60 age division.

Christmas That’s it. 2004 is toast boys and girls. May I, on behalf of myself and the rest of the Twilighter executive take this opportunity to wish all Twilighters everywhere and all of our Friends a Very Merry Christmas and a Rugbyful New Year. As we let the sights, sounds smells and tastes of the Christmas Season surround us let’s give the wife and kids an extra squeeze and bear in memory those of our little family who are not going to have such a Happy Christmas and may we resolve not to take anything for granted.

You've been great. Got to go. Snoopman.