Fall 2005 Goose Droppings

The Docs’ Pool Party It was a beautiful day out in White Rock for the umpteenth iteration of the Docs’ Pool Party. A pretty good crowd showed up to bag a few rays including lots of Grists, Olivers and out-laws and a crew from the Gold Medal winning, over 60 squad that went to Edmonton. And how about that volleyball game, exciting …mmmm?…mmm maybe not so much. At least not until Nick wiped out the net at 16:12. It’s worth a trip up behind the house to the “bee-loud glade” for a game of Horseshoes with the Doc. The Cooking Crew did a superb job of the kebabs. And what’s this I hear about an ad hoc wrestling match after I leave…I’ve been training for a job as a wrestling ref, you know running around, crouching down, looking the wrong way and in general looking quite feckless, as seen on TV. Once again many, many thanks to Phil and Mairi for their marvelous hospitality.

Powell River Aug 27 A beautiful day in the neighborhood and a nice warm-up for the season. Otago made it down and the Twits were not particularly hospitable, dumping on our guests 7 to 2. P Wee, Andrew Walker, Roger Ruddy, Paul “Hulk” Cumming, Harvey Johnston, Wade Sandberg and Murk doing the damage. Roger’s try was particularly brilliant. New guy, Chuck Singh (who unfortunately tore his Achilles tendon later in the game) passed the ball to Rog’ just as the large Otago center was going to smoke him. In one motion, worthy of a Don Jenner Wednesday Night pass, Rog flicks a behind-the-back pass to Chuck, who’s looping and starts the attack. Roger gets away from his cover and charges down the field in time to touch down a lovely little chip kick in the goal. Highlight reel stuff! Malcolm got an assist on Harvey’s try…the hard way. A pass was directed in Malcolm’s direction and he did not actually catch the pass but it did not actually touch the ground and he did not actually knock it on, Harvey couldn’t stand it so he went and grabbed it and took it in. On Murk’s try him and Tyler were fielding an up-and-under and because Murk is taller than Tyler he got it and went in. Brian Carano donated his considerable talents to the visitors, putting in 60 minutes for them, as well Puppy and Dave Carmichael assisted the Otago squad. Turk put in another 60 minutes, we’re sure getting our dues money out of him. Martin called a pretty good game, there was no squabbling before, during or after the game. Saw Willie Stephan on the sidelines looking quite prosperous.

Post Game Another great spread from the Cooking Crew. Otago tapped Andrew Walker for Man of the Match and our nominee was that that little bald winger who’s been a fixture with Otago for a donkey’s years but whose name seems to have escaped everyone I talked to. George Cook seems to think it’s Ikky but I’m not so sure.

NOBS & SOBS

NOBS (Seattle) Seattle made the effort to come up alas without all those strong young guys that gave us fits when we were down there last, including Mumoi’s “cousin”, the flashing standoff. So a bunch of Twits volunteered, including Rob Rumley, Newbies Garnet Gracey, George Vaivaka (another Island Boy), Perry Stevens and Murk, Brian Carano, Tim Tukutau, Tyler and the Hulk. Harry was going to play for the NOBS but pulled something in his calf.

The game started fast (unusual for a Twits’ game) when Seattle muffed the kick-off and Pee Wee got the ball on the wing and went in to score. Pee Wee claims he only scored twice but someone told me he got 3 and did not want to take credit because he did not want to “buy a round…the cheap prick!” Don’t shoot the messenger, Pee Wee. I’m only reporting what I heard. Brian Carano was playing for us this time and scored 1, Malcolm got 2, Gomez 2, Mumoi 2, Frodo 2 and Truck scored 1 and tripped seismographs all over the Northwest when he launched himself in for a try, the epicenter being the north endzone on Field 2 at Burnaby Lake. Final 12 or 13 to nil. Late in the game, Malcolm comes running over to chip a loose ball into touch and I felt this strange compunction to tell Malcolm if I had hands like his I’d kick the ball into touch too.

Afters Murk offered thanks to Seattle for making it up and to Mike Suddaby for working the game. Thanks also to the cooking crew, Truck or “Earthquake” Grigg, Foggy and George. Pee Wee didn’t care that 10 Twits became honorary NOBS for the day they still had to pay their $5. Pat Lockridge (scrumhalf) got the Georgie for being the most help to us. Achtung! Achtung! Der Turkmeister says, “You vill pay your dues by the first game after Thanksgiving or you vill not play! Ve haf vays of making you pay!”

Corn Feed September 24. Smallish crowd enjoyed themselves immensely. Mai-Lis cleaned a few clocks at Bocce. The corn was perfect and I must have crammed about 10,000 calories of Virve’s desserts down my cakehole. To those who missed the Corn Feed, you missed a good one. Many thanks to George and Virve for their hospitality.

SOBS Sept. 25 Yup, the day after the Corn Feed but everyone looked to be in pretty good shape…surprisingly. Beautiful sunny day on the peninsula and the Twits get away to another fast start with a try in the first minute of play. Garry Henry notches 2. Tyler hauls ass for a 50 yarder. Paul, The Hulk, Cumming scoots one in. Wade gets loose for one on a sweet feed from Duncan and Dunc scores himself when he steals a ball at the goalline just after Earthquake goes down with sprained ankle. After Murk comes flying through the loose and gives me a good smack on my right thigh I stay in and later Harvey and I are on a collision course to clean up a loose ball. Harvey gets to it first (what else is new) and in the ensuing pile-up I get my head pushed down to the dirt between my legs giving me a great little pinched nerve in the lower back (oh, lower than that). Other than that it was a good, explosive game with the SOBs winger, Lefty doing lots of damage, scoring 2 tries. Dave Narod was out playing with his dad and raking some Blueshirt he’d deemed was lying on the ball…shocking just shocking. The final ended up 7-5, advantage Twits so once again the SOBs fail in their attempts to best the Blue.

De-briefing Good scawf and SOBs pick Murk for their Man of the Match. Scotty Dowle’s daughter comes out to see dad play and afterwards allows as how she, “just loves rugby players”. Just what the old coots love to hear.

Legends & Events

Legends Oct. 2 Not too bad of a day for rugby and the Twits get off to another fast start (What’s going on here?) with a try scored off a dropped kick-off. (We won’t say who dropped it shall we, Per…?) Oh and by the way our own newbie, Perry Stevens volunteered and played a hell of a game for the Legends at prop. Pee Wee got the first try and then pulled himself after his hamstring started to feel a little dodgy. Ian Trevor sliced in for the second try and a good thing too because instead of folding the Legends started to fight their way back through most of the second half. Scottie iced it in the late going with the Twits’ 3rd. Final Twits 3 Legends 2.

Before the game our “dedicated follower of fashion”, Harry O, made the observation in front of “Whiteshoes” Perry Stevens, that it just wasn’t done to be wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

What is it? Every Legend game seems to turn into a bloodbath, Billy Walker dislocates his shoulder, Jim Davidson straight-arms me and gets his thumb in my eye and the poor bugger who broke his leg just above the ankle.

60 Minute Man, Turk observed the ball was going around like a BB in a pinball machine and also that a lot of large people were going into the rough with no intention of picking up the ball; like “Steamboats” he called them. It must‘ve been contagious, Maurice Biddle, Legend scrum-half and X-Kat ended up on his prat a couple of times when his support didn’t show up on time.

Ex Post Facto Billy Walker made it back from hospital with his wing trussed up as the folks sat around and licked their wounds.

Guys, Guys Let’s get behind the BCRU Mini Cooper / Fishing Trip Lottery and flog those tickets. They’re so easy to sell, just throw them down on the table and people start fighting to get that book away from their neighbor. The club gets lots of money from so get going, sell those tickets and get the money and STUBS in before the end of October as the Early Bird draw for the fishing trip goes on November 1st! Heaven help you if you’ve sold the ticket on the strength of the fishing trip and your customer finds out that you didn’t get his ticket into the draw.

Reverse Draw April We are hoping to get the tickets ready for the Christmas Chinese Dinner with all the Twits of Christmas Past. It’s the last Wednesday before the Christmas break.

Xmas Pantomime is on the horizon. More info later.

30 Years of Twits Celebration Rumors of a Dinner Dance with a Karaoke, invitations to the Ebbtide and Evergreens (the other ancient pathfinders of Rugby) and period costumes, you know, bellbottoms, platforms, pink sunglasses, Afros, Nehru suits and tied-died everything else. More information as it becomes available that is to say we can shanghai somebody into doing all the work.

See by the clock on the wall.

Just one more thing

The next is courtesy Duncan and Kelly

George was fixing a door and he found he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.

At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.

When Carl was finished, Mary asked how much for the teapot. Carl replied, “That’s silver and it costs $100!”

“My goodness, that sure is a lot of money!” Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge George had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Carl yelled, “Mary, you wanna a screw for that hinge?”

Mary replied, “No but I will for the teapot.”

This is why you can’t send a woman to the hardware store.

So long for now, Snoop Dougg.