2005 Archives

2004 Archives

March/April Newsletter

Sno-Caps March 6 at Klahanie. This is the second game with these guys where they wanted no-push sets…I don’t like it. I think the next time we play them, the 2 young breaks can play prop and Gord Currie and Andrew can play flank…Fog, Truck, Jamie, Kevin and I would be happy to teach them the finer points of life in the front row…they can think of it as an opportunity to increase their life skills. Parnham called a fabulous game…for him. 4 out of 10. Ollie stripped the ball off one young brat and also pushed another into touch but their linesman called him in bounds, the bastard! I thought it was Beauchamp at first. He scored. Murk scored for us as did Leigh on a good pass from Harry…What’s going on here? Island rugby? Andrew Walker, Billy MacRae, Garry Henry and Brian Carano, after a couple of dubious decisions, had some pretty fair runs but were called upon to do a lot of tackling. Truck and the large, bald lock were observed exchanging pleasantries; Mark collecting a large mouse for his efforts. Also, Mark, throwing punches while on your back is not recommended protocol. Speaking of the large, bald lock, he looked like he was a permanent fixture on our side of the rucks, over the top, in from the side and generally meddling with the ball on the ground. Post-game, Nick and I thought it might be beneficial to the flow of the game if we were to tickle the ivories (ribs) with our feet the next time we meet…”pour encourager les autres”. Sno-caps also had the audacity to name some baby 38 year-old wing from Gibsons as Man of the Match. Final Sno-caps 4, Twits 2.

Post game de-briefing Murk had it right when he said, “What a shame. We spent all week on the scrum-machine.” Saving grace was the post-game currie…chicken not Gord.

Turner wants to remind all you referees, wannabe referees and sideline referees that in the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King. So if you wouldn’t mind could you please remember to address him as “Your Majesty”. It shouldn’t be too much of a hardship, after all he is much better looking than Camilla Parker-Bowel-Movement. (Think Pantomime.)

Events

Evergreens March 13 We went downtown to hookup with the Trailer Park…oops I mean the Stanley Park Boys. Another No Push Set game. What the hell is going on. After the game, Doc tells me, (I’m paraphrasing here,) “These no-push set games suck.” There they are, Cable and Woldring wimping, “Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me.” and I mean you guys know me, “Would I hurt anybody?”. Then they come crashing through the loose and taking on through the line-outs. It’s enough to drive a man to drink. E-greens have got a good new jumper/second row-No. 8, won a lot of ball. It turned into a game of tackle, tackle, tackle. There were great hits on both sides. Nick Hudson and Brad, the very youthful Aussie standoff were smothered all game long. Tyler got loose for our try and Nelson scored on a kick through late in the game. Later on in the game we’re going into one of those poncy sets and I’m looking down at my shoe and it’s like a horror show (like the game itself, but that’s another story.) Drip, drip, drip; splotches of blood are appearing on my toe. I squeak and jump out of the set and check my head, nothing. Tony, the opposite hook, nothing. Same for Woldring and then I look at Nick…eww, the gore was gushing out of his snotlocker. After the game he gives me shit, says, “Doug, if it’s your guy bleeding, don’t say anything.” I don’t know why, but there you are. And then there was Callahan. I mean when we have a home game do our refs like Suddaby, Trevor, Smolden or even Martin Loewen call anything but a perfectly even game? Barry would whistle a penalty for the Green but it took him 30 seconds to construct in his mind what the hell it was going to be for. Oh well I guess it’s character building.

Apres Jeu A horrible Vancouver day for a rugby game, sunny with a few fluffy white clouds for dramatic contrast and a lovely cool breeze. Murk said that for the second time in 2 weeks we wasted another week working out on the scrum machine. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more.) Great scoff! How about those sausages, courtesy of Kevin and his good lady. Final 1-1.

Valley Vintage March 20 I’ve got a question. Where did all the Wednesday Night Practicers get to? 40 to practice and barely 20 on Sunday. Maybe Dr. Jung can tell us if the Reverse Psychology Rule would work, you know, if you don’t make it to the Game you won’t be allowed to Practice. Pee Wee ‘s still out with a hamstring and Garry Henry went out when someone stepped on his hand. Valley presented with a strong pack as usual with good young second-rower and a couple of young backs who look like they’re going to give Bobby Gaul and Dennis Rushton a new lease on life. Dennis might not last though if he keeps on doing the splits as he did when he went to tackle Billy MacRae. It hurt just watching it. No. 2 was pretty slick with lots of standing water. You needed snorkels on your mouthguards if you got on the bottom of a ruck. Garry Chiang scored the Twits only try on a nice piece of ball snagging down in the corner.

Final VV 3, Twits 1. Gomez did a stint at scrum-half, got beat up again, leg this time, not ribs. Those sadistic Valley boys give the ball to Truck and then chase him down the sidelines and refuse to tackle him…for 35 yards. Jim Booth looked like he was up for some shenanigans when he lined up at number 1 in the line-outs nothing came of it though.

Aftermath Good spread of burgers and salads from George and Fog and crew. Frodo couldn’t save our bacon on the day but he did get a “Georgie” from Coach Cook for some contravention of the Code. Not a very good March, a tie and 2 losses. Oh well there’s always tomorrow.

Good bye, Snoopman.